Tuesday, November 16, 2010

No, I am not Madonna

I was asked a question today that I thought deserved more of an answer than I was able to give at the time. I was discussing my adoption with a visitor at my clinic today and he said, "So you're doing the Madonna and Angelina thing huh?" My answer was, "Not really, I choose to see it as following the call God put on my life." I am afraid I embarrassed the poor man. Now I don't mind people asking me about Madonna and Angelina Jolie. They have made adoption popular and more mainstream. I would love to have the funds and help they have (I could adopt a few more), but I think comparing my adoption to them minimizes the reality of adoption. It isn't something that just celebrities can do. It is real people following a real calling and doing real hard work. Not that Madonna and Angelina don't work hard to be parents, I don't know what kind of parents they are. However, I can't say that I am looking to them for examples. I have much better examples closer to home. My own mother for one. Being a single mom is tough, but I am learning to love it (no, I don't love it all the time). I have learned more and grown more in the last six months than I ever thought possible. I have also learned more about the depths of my own depravity than I ever thought possible. It is true as one friend told me, "parenting is the fast-track to sanctification." I hope Madonna and Angelina Jolie are getting the same lessons through their adoption.
How do you think I should have responded to that question? I am curious what you all think.


  1. Comparing our adoptions to those of celebrities, makes me think that people think we're trying to be "trendy" with our adoptions. Adoption isn't trendy. We don't do it to be in the limelight, to get attention, or to be popular. Quite the contrary. The media has trivialized the orphan care that Madonna and Angelina/Brad have done, and the comparison trivializes our own experiences.

  2. I think your answer was honest, and his question was probably just an attempt to frame the issue in familiar terms. As for trends, there have been trends in adoption, but really just in the "where" not the why. This is a great article on international adoption I read a few months ago. "The Baby Lift" http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/05/10/100510fa_fact_seabrook